Man avoiding conflict with two other employees

Conflict at work is inevitable, but how you handle it can make all the difference. While most professionals lean toward a collaborating conflict style or a compromising conflict style to tackle issues, only 4.6% opt for an avoiding style.

This makes the avoiding conflict style one of the least favored approaches in a conflict situation. Yet, this conflict management strategy has its own merits when used wisely. Knowing when to step back rather than engage can be crucial.

In this blog, we’ll explore the avoiding style, its benefits and drawbacks, and when it’s the right choice-or when it may cause conflict to simmer, potentially leading to unresolved tensions and future issues.

The Concept of Avoiding Conflict

The avoiding conflict style involves stepping back from a disagreement rather than confronting it directly. This conflict management style comes into play when process time constraints demand that issues be temporarily put aside or when feelings ranging from anger to frustration run high. By not engaging, the avoiding style gives space for emotions to cool down, preventing the conflict from simmering potentially out of control.

However, this style allows the conflict to linger unresolved, which might lead to hidden tensions. People using the avoiding conflict style might employ covert methods to get their way or subtly attempt to gain power and pressure others.

The avoiding conflict management style is often seen as passive. However, when the avoiding conflict style is applied strategically, it helps maintain harmony and prevents immediate confrontations, especially in sensitive situations. However, over-reliance on this avoiding style can lead to unresolved issues building up over time.

Benefits and Pitfalls of Conflict Avoidance

The avoiding conflict style comes with both benefits and drawbacks. Here are some reasons why people might choose the avoiding style:

Benefits of the Avoiding Conflict Style

  • Minimize losses to preserve relationships: The avoiding conflict style helps maintain harmony by preventing confrontations that might damage relationships.
  • Provides time to think: You get a chance to gather information and weigh options carefully, avoiding rushed decisions.
  • Allows emotions to settle: This avoiding style lets everyone “cool down” and regain perspective, preventing conflicts from escalating.

Pitfalls of the Avoiding Conflict Style

  • Creates a barrier to creative problem-solving: When you sidestep conflict, this style allows issues to remain unresolved, leading to reduced creativity and increased stagnation.
  • Projects disinterest: Conflict avoidance can come across as aggressive, autocratic, or indifferent.
  • Breeds hidden resentment: It might help you implement an unpopular decision, but unresolved tensions often harm collaboration. For long-term success, open dialogue usually works better.

Understanding Different Conflict Resolution Styles

Understanding conflict-handling styles gives you a better understanding of how to manage disagreements effectively. Besides the avoiding style, there are four main conflict management approaches:

  • Competing: This conflict management style focuses on one’s goals with little regard for relationships. Here, creativity and increased power dominate. The result is a “win-lose” scenario where one party gets everything, and the other gets nothing.
  • Collaborating: This conflict management approach values both goals and relationships. It requires open dialogue and cooperation, aiming for a “win-win” outcome.
  • Accommodating: When using this style, one party prioritizes the relationship over their own goals. It’s cooperative and may play a role in de-escalating conflicts, but it often leads to self-sacrifice.
  • Compromising: This balanced conflict management style seeks a middle ground. Both parties give up something to reach a solution.

Closeup of a woman with arms crossed avoiding conflict with employees in the background

When to Use the Avoiding Conflict Style

The avoiding conflict style works best in certain situations. Here are three scenarios where this approach can be effective:

  • When emotions are high: If you expect angry or negative outbursts, stepping back can prevent the situation from escalating. Waiting helps to avoid a heated exchange that could result in feelings ranging from frustration to resentment.
  • When the issue isn’t urgent: If the problem isn’t pressing, constraints demand a delay in addressing it. This allows you to prioritize more critical matters without immediate confrontation. By choosing to deliberately ignore or withdraw, you save energy for more impactful issues.
  • When relationships aren’t a priority: If the value of the relationship is medium or low, avoiding might prevent damage beyond repair or prevent others from unnecessary drama. It’s a practical method for handling coworker conflict when you prefer to keep your distance and observe how others behave.

Key Communication Strategies to Avoid Conflict

You can use specific techniques to navigate tension effectively when avoidance can be appropriate. Here are four methods:

  • Active Listening: Focus more on how you respond than on evaluating the other person’s words. This helps prevent misunderstandings and reduces tension, especially during conflict in meetings.
  • Non-Defensive Communication: Speak calmly and clearly, without provoking. A defensive tone often escalates issues, and this approach shows openness instead of hostility, reducing the chances that relationships can be harmed.
  • Admitting You Are Wrong: Sometimes, acknowledging mistakes is the best way to defuse tension. Admitting you are wrong can turn a potential clash into a moment of understanding and trust.
  • Delaying Engagement: If dealing with the conflict immediately isn’t necessary, delay your response. This style can be appropriate when emotions are high, giving everyone time to cool down and reassess the situation calmly.

Building a Positive Work Environment With Conflict Avoidance

To create a positive work environment, focus on addressing conflicts without direct confrontation. When you avoid confrontation, you can reduce tensions and foster harmony. Encourage team members to focus on interests and needs, not positions.

This approach helps everyone understand underlying concerns rather than getting stuck in rigid stances. Recognize each personal conflict style, as not everyone will thrive using a predominant conflict style of direct engagement.

While some avoiders deliberately ignore issues, this isn’t always bad. When the potential for damage is high, avoiding a conflict rather than facing it head-on might save relationships from being harmed beyond repair.

However, it’s crucial to balance when to delay, or you will risk unresolved issues becoming bigger problems. In a dispute, it’s often easier to defuse situations calmly rather than force resolutions, creating a workplace where cooperation and understanding take center stage.

Preventing Conflict in Personal Relationships

Preventing conflicts in personal relationships requires proactive and thoughtful communication. Start by addressing underlying concerns. Clarify these concerns through open dialogue rather than jumping to conclusions. Whether you’re managing a friendship or a relationship with your manager, focus on understanding each other’s needs.

Engage in conflict management styles that prioritize listening and empathy. For instance, using collaboration instead of avoidance can open the door to meaningful discussions. This approach fosters trust and reduces misunderstandings.

Remember, collaboration generates creative solutions by combining perspectives and working together toward a shared goal. The key lies in valuing the relationship enough to prevent minor issues from growing into major conflicts.

AllWin Conflict Resolution Training Programs

At AllWin, we offer a range of conflict resolution training programs tailored to fit the unique needs of various organizations and industries. Our programs include in-person, virtual, and hybrid workshops designed to equip your team with the skills needed to manage and resolve conflicts effectively.

Our offerings cover diverse areas such as:

  • Workshops for Leaders: Focused on enhancing leadership skills to manage conflicts, fostering better communication, and building a positive workplace culture.
  • Programs for Employees: These workshops teach conflict resolution techniques applicable to day-to-day interactions, helping maintain harmony and productivity.
  • Industry-Specific Training: Customized courses for specific sectors, including customer service, healthcare, education, HR, and law enforcement, address unique challenges in each field.
  • One-on-One Coaching: We provide personalized coaching sessions to help managers and team leads develop strong conflict resolution strategies.

Explore our online conflict resolution courses and more. Contact us today to find the best program for your organization and build a more peaceful and productive workplace.

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About the Author: Jeremy Pollack

Jeremy Pollack, Ph.D. is the founder of Defuse De-Escalation Training, a sister company of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, the largest workplace conflict resolution training and consulting firm in North America. He actively participates in de-escalation training and consulting initiatives for a variety of industries, from Fortune 500 companies to well-known non-profits. Besides his Ph.D. in Psychology from Grand Canyon University, Jeremy holds a Master’s Degree in Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding (NCRP) from California State University, Dominguez Hills. He is also a member of several organizations focused on conflict resolution and peacebuilding, such as the Peaceful Leadership Institute, the Association for Conflict Resolution, and the Division 48 (Division of Peace Psychology) of the American Psychological Association. Jeremy also holds several certifications in the field of training and coaching: he is a Certified Organizational Development Coach (CODC™), a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist-Individual (CCTS-I™), and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) under the International Coaching Federation.

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